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INTRUSION
By Melissa L. Webb
Ray’s eyes snapped open as he lay there, listening to the night around him. What had woken him? Nothing moved or stirred. He blinked slowly as sleep began to pull him down once again.
He was almost back in a peaceful slumber when a loud thump shook the room. Straightening up, his eyes scanned the darkness quickly. Something had definitely pulled him from sleep this time.
Another thump sounded. It was coming from all around him. Freeing his legs from the blankets, he stood quickly, reaching for the pair of jeans he left laying nearby. As he slipped a leg in, three more quick thumps seemed to shake the walls around him.
Sliding the jeans all the way up, zipping them with a grunt, he scrambled for the bedroom door. What was going on out there? He raced out of the room and into the dark living room. Light trickled in from the streetlight through the blind slats. It penetrated the darkness like blades, illuminating the room well enough.
Nothing loomed in front of him. He was alone in his living room, wiping the sleep from his eyes. The silence which pressed in on his eardrums was almost deafening. It loomed down on him, bringing him back to reality. There was nothing wrong.
Running a hand through his hair, he looked around, squinting at the empty room. He must have been dreaming. He let out the breath which seemed to be caught in his chest. What an idiot. He had fallen for a dream.
Ray turned to return to bed, when a series of thumps occurred. He looked at the ceiling above his head. Someone was on the roof.
Moving quickly, shaking the doubt from his mind, he hurried through the house. Tearing the front door open, he ran down the steps, turning to look up at the house before him. He steeled himself for a confrontation. “Hello?” he called up to the roof. He could see no one, but knew they were up there, hiding out of sight. “Get off of my roof before I call the police.”
He waited, hoping the threat would be enough to discourage whoever it was. He heard a scraping as something skittered across the shingles. “Get down now!” he shouted, not caring if he woke up the neighbors.
Several shapes moved into view and stared down at him, curiosity dancing in their eyes.
Ray grit his teeth as he looked away. Raccoons? That’s what woke him up? He stormed back in the house, angrily twisting the lock into place. Trying to steady his racing heart, he moved through the house. How could he let something like raccoons freak him out? He wasn’t some scared girl who jumped at every noise. “Stupid animals,” he muttered under his breath as he returned to his room and shed the jeans once again.
Making a mental note to call an exterminator in the morning, he crawled back into bed. He’d teach those furry little intruders a lesson. They picked the wrong man to wake up.
He closed his eyes, but knew sleep would be a long time coming.
With a sudden pressure on the foot of his bed, he felt something slither up the blankets towards him. A gasp froze in his throat as hot breath coated his face.
“That was a great distraction, wasn’t it?” a voice hissed above him.
Ray screamed in terror as the intruder reached forward, coating the room with the evil it carried.
© 2011 Melissa L. Webb
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Ramblings from a Word Weaver 
Ohh what creature was that?
Great build up. I thought the racoons were it, but then you put a twist at the end. The description made me cringe as I’m laying in bed.
I always start my Friday mornings in the Uk with another one of your ingenious grisly deaths!
Nice “make you jump” ending!
Bad decision to read this story prior to going to bed after midnight *shudders*
but a great scary story.
Adam B @revhappiness
Hi;
I just started a blog and your blog is the first that I read. This was a random blog pick for me that turned out positively. I enjoyed your story which was beautifully detailed.
Argghh!! You really got me at the end. Good build up, I’m also intrigued, what were those creatures!
Gorgeous: ‘…coating the room with the evil it carried.’
What is it? We’re all dying to find out, now!
Good piece, strong tension.
Ooh, evil using racoons as a distraction – very original 🙂
Or maybe the racoons are in cahoots with evil…?
Kind of wished I hadnt read this whilst in the house on my own, but it certainly gets the old brain juices flowing – nice work.
The animals on the roof weren’t a surprise, we have enough possums on ours, but the ending certainly was! Things that go bump in the night, or maybe bump you off – nice bit of tension created in this piece.
I love it. A killing creature that distracts it’s prey…which is what good predators do. I’m in suspense with the others. I want to know what it is. Slithering makes me think of a demon that had shape-shifted from a snake. Wonderful, whatever it is!
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I think your use of the word “coating” in the last line is great. And deeply revolting. I’m shivering at the thought.
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